I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
