I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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