Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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