its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
