Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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