Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
