i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
