It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I have already put on my inside pants.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
