I'm really into asian looking animals
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
