I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I need water and some morals
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
