She announced her abortion via fbk
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
