ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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