After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
