Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
