How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
