I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
