So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
