it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
