you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
