I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize