Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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