She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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