we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
