Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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