Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
