haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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