yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
