My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
