dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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