fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
