So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
