Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
