she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
