I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
