I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
