dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
