I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize