We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There r osticjed everywhere
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Is Oprah even human
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize