we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
