I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have tasted many bathrooms
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
