he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
