So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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