Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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