He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize