My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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