I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
