Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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