i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
