When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
