Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
