To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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