it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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