Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize