...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
