You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
