Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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