What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
