question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
