For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
