I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
tell me about the eggs
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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