It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
