Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When did angry sex become our thing?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize