We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
