sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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