oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
