Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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