Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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