I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize