At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
