I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
