I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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