whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i want to swaddle you in tequila
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
