I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
