I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
