I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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