He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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